February 10th, 2014


If a pattern of behaviour is powerful and works well for you, then it is likely that you are moving forwards and life is flowing in the direction you want. What happens, though, when a behavioural pattern is working against you at some level and is sapping your energy?

Listen to the things you keep saying to yourself; you probably have some favourite words and phrases you use to put pressure on yourself and perpetuate your patterns of behaviour.  They will probably be things like:

‘I know I should, but ….’

‘I’ll try to, although….’

‘I want to, but…’

‘I must…’

‘Why do I always…..’?

‘Why does it never ….’?

Notice that these pressure words are taking away your choice; when you give yourself choice you will see different ways forward.  We all have patterns of language and behaviour; when you work with your Coach, they can help you to recognise your less helpful patterns and explore different patterns that could be useful to develop.

What can you do when you notice one of your patterns?  The first thing could be to welcome it in!  Ask yourself:

‘What does this behaviour do for me that’s positive, helpful’? (If it didn’t anything helpful you would have stopped it by now……. wouldn’t you)?

‘If I were to give up this behaviour would I have to stop something I enjoy? If so, then how could I keep the feeling of enjoyment in a different or new way?

Would it be useful for you to focus on bringing more positive things into your life? After all, where your focus goes your energy will flow.

Commit to beginning, choose a tiny step, and call your Coach as soon as you have taken that step.

Once you have completed the task CELEBRATE!  Celebrating is really important; it confirms your commitment to yourself, underlines the feeling of achievement and reminds you how good it feels to make changes.

If we can help please get in touch.

Helen Edwards

About the Author

Helen Edwards

Helen Edwards is a certified NLP Coach, an NLP Master Practitioner and a qualified psychotherapist who focuses on the development of each individual’s inner strengths. Her knowledge of people plus her background in senior management roles in the private and public sectors give her a deep understanding of the qualities required of leadership. Follow us on Twitter @people_spark

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